I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i think my cat just said my name.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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