Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
