Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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