Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
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