my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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