At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
