She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
soo... how was my night?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
