In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
