I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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