This show inspires me to have sex in space
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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