guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
