I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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