what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
