she was so not down for the gang bang
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
