I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
