Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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