So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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