You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
