They should really pass out barf bags in church
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
