I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
