Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you win again, gameday.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
