Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
