You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
