You work out of a Hotel?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
