and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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