i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
