Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
