Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need to align my fucking chakras
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
