And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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