just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
