isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
