girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
