ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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