Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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