HIV tests are more positive than that guy
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
