I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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