hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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