I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
