In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
