is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this boner is exhausting
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
50% drunk capacity currently
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
