you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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