how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
