Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
