and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
