I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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