the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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