Jerry, you need to find god
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
