I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
