please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
