RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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