this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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