I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
