Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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